Marc's INTJ Blog

Advice-filtering for Research, using Personality Factors

Wednesday June 16, 2021

I find that I do this a lot these days:

  • Read content online, for example a question in an online community forum or group
  • Read comments or answers about it
  • Mentally filter all the comments by likely personality type, using a lot of intuition (Ni) based on the writing style, approach to the topic, psychological distance control with the topic, what the topic is, who typically flocks to these topics, etc. (Se)
  • Mentally filter all the comments by how much leverage / control the commenter has in this topic / area (See Relevant Notes below)
  • Mentally filter all the comments by how projection-y / blustery / braggy / whatever they are
  • If it’s an INTJ and they have a lot of leverage / control and the projection level is appropriate…

At that point I am paying a lot of attention to that commenter, based on the theory that in these ways, their psychology is at least a rough match for mine:

  • The various cognitive function models (huge)
  • Specific personality traits, outside of type (huge)
  • Interaction styles and DISC (huge)
  • Temperament (depends on the topic but often a big deal)
  • General function attitude (surprisingly relevant if you get into what I/E can really mean)
  • The usual four-letter type stuff (less useful in a lot of cases)

If it’s not an INTJ, of course that’s totally fine. I do the same thing but filter by cognitive functionality, function attitudes, interaction style, temperament, etc. (This doesn’t take long now that I’ve spent years and years coaching using these tools)

Some outcomes:

  • I was able to manage risk better by confirming that my psychology was suited for specific approaches to things. For example, when I wondered if coaching was a good fit for me, I paid extra attention to introverts and particularly experienced introverts who were Thinking-preferent. This paid off later when I was able to recognize similar patterns and remember their advice.
  • I was able to contextualize the whole group of helpful comments, for example if you filter an entire thread of comments and realize you are dealing with people who are projecting tons of experience, and yet there is zero depth to the conversation—OK, maybe find a different topic. If INTJs are doing this though, there’s a chance you are really onto something, because their intuition is lighting up but their experience level isn’t there yet.
  • I found some “quacks” (e.g. downvoted to hell, or literally called quacks in the thread, or whatever) who my filters told me were probably really trustworthy, or at least worth listening to. I followed up and learned a lot of specific career and research secrets that I didn’t understand before.

Relevant Notes

To estimate whether someone has a lot of leverage and control over their interaction with a topic or area of interst, I might look for these factors:

  • The topic is not particularly emotionally charged for them
  • They seem to be able to work with the topic in a positive way (not so much emotionally positive, rather they are persistently solving problems and working through them when they come up, for example)
  • They seem to be able to do this over a long period of time
  • They seem to be able to set normative time and schedule boundaries with the activity; it doesn’t consume their life
  • They seem to be satisfied with the results they get
  • They seem to plan to continue down this route

Filed in: /99/ | /84/

Systems Improv

Monday June 14, 2021

This is kind of a fun one for me lately: Systems Improv, or the design of ad hoc systems. Throwaway systems, even.

Premise: Each new and important moment gets a new micro-system, designed to fit the needs of the moment.

Nothing is assumed about the needs of the moment. No old or existing systems are brought forward unless they seem to meet the needs of the moment. (This is a huge difference—I used to drag these bulky existing systems along with me into everything, and try to force them to fit. Like, hey, let’s make this moment fit into bullet journaling. Or hey, let’s make this moment fit into this productivity system I learned last year.)

All systems and designs which are to be integrated right now are logically, intuitively, or emotionally weighed.

Defined in the New Moment

I start with a definition of the system needed. This becomes the temporary name of the system.

Example: Today I needed a system called the…

“I meant to take a nap, but couldn’t fall asleep thanks to this Soviet super-drug, so now my head is fuzzy and what do I do about it”-System.

(Yeah, you read that right!)

I was pretty convinced the day was going to suck at this point. You know what I mean if you think sleep is super important and then you can’t get any. But I wanted to try something.

  1. I started simple—I wrote a list of things that I could probably do to get the day back on the rails.
  2. Then I started to organize the list. From five items to three main items, with some indented sub-items.
  3. Then some higher-level concepts came to mind, intuitively. First, a meta-system-design concept came to mind, so I put that in as its own list to refer to later. Second, I thought this improvised system needed a loop, so I used a two-part timer from Task BATL to drive the loop. In this case, 30 minutes of comfort, 10 minutes of focused try-harding, and repeat. This kind of backward productivity timer loop is one of my favorites.
  4. I added on some other portions of Task BATL as well. For example I added a ton of circle items to get me started: Get hydrated, go to the bathroom, eat a snack, turn on some music, take a couple of these supplements and one of those, and start a couple movies quietly playing in the background. Gotta take care of yourself! This stuff is important.

From there, the day got WAY better.

Organized by Need

If the system is unique in some way, or seems a pain to re-design later, I file it for later use.

Lossy by Design

If not—no big deal, it’s like journaling (and the system is designed inside my daily log / journal). I don’t mind losing a lot of what I write, because it’s the exercise of writing that does most of what I need. If you can improvise your systems, then I think losing some here or there will just happen naturally. Did you lose one? Oh, sorry, I guess you get to flex your improv muscle again…that’s the idea anyway.

Filed in: /99/ | /88/ | /118/

Some Trading Inputs

Monday June 14, 2021

Colin writes,

I have been getting into trading, mostly stocks, some crypto, but it’s really making me stressed out. I don’t know what I should expect of myself, I don’t know what I can accomplish, and I feel really overstimulated after trading. It seems like one really simple trade can ruin my whole day, or make me feel amazing. Any advice?

Hi Colin,

I’m not sure what kind of trading you’re doing—day trading maybe? But this really sounds like a great opportunity to try a new approach.

First, it sounds like you are trading on tighter timelines than are (yet) comfortable to you. This takes some adjustment. It will just take some time for you to start learning the best timeline-related lessons for you.

For example, maybe you are trying to day-trade, but that’s just not a good fit for you. Or maybe you are day-trading, but your approach is focused on too many variables or practices. Maybe your daily schedule needs to be simplified.

Second, I really recommend that you think about the daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly experience you want from trading. I remember my first big #showerthought about my own trading system: “I guess I could just design my own system and it’ll work however I want it to…!” That was a really liberating feeling.

This could be a big deal if you’ve been learning about trading the standard-INTJ way, i.e. reading from books, taking courses, watching videos online, etc. In other words—consuming everyone else’s system but not really developing your own.

You can start down this path by writing down what your trading system needs to give you. Examples:

  • I want to be able to take a week off, with very few exceptions requiring me to trade during a week off.
  • I want to feel like a single trade won’t break me and ruin my day / week / life.
    • Note: Some will say—“easy, just diversify and go risk-off.” This is a common INTJ contingency planning POV. However, I’ve found that I can also do things like integrating more technical factors into a single large trade, increasing the odds that the trade is a good one. There are lots of ways to handle this—find your favorites.
  • I like to trade (crypto), which works really well for me, more than (stocks) … or whatever you like best. Maybe you love OTC stocks and you crave the the very sudden, very risky “BOOOOM” of a chart going vertical. Just not every day! My point is—you don’t have to do everything. Feel free to pick your favorites, and then your emotional core will respond in turn. You should feel more anchored and ready to engage with your choice.
    • Note: You may not have a good “feeling” about something you haven’t really given a chance yet—keep that in mind too.
  • I want to be able to sleep well at night, and sleep in past 8 or 9 if I want.

With your decisions made, you can then design a trading system that fits those criteria. Maybe you end up with a system that involves making only one or two big trades in a year. (Keep in mind that in the interview, the trader in question is assessing securities from a value standpoint, which is only one way of assessing a good trade or investment and not the main draw for me personally)

Third, you asked about what you should expect of yourself. I’d offer this, for starters: Compare against your past self, always, and in a number of different ways. Keep a spreadsheet, keep a log of your thoughts on trading.

Expect to do better, in some ways, than you did last year. Maybe you achieve faster portfolio growth, or you save more of your profits, or maybe you just find that you’re able to sleep at night again—plus, this gets at a possible need to track your emotional workload.

Regarding the higher-end outcomes, try not to make the mistake of thinking that there’s a ceiling on what you can do. Don’t get into the “let this be a lesson to me, I was too hoggish” mindset. If you feel like today’s loss of X% was a lesson, force it toward specificity and a numeric formula if possible, and make it prove itself again. Test your ideas before they turn into over-emotional maxims about what you can or cannot do.

Finally, you may find that you can accomplish a lot more than you felt comfortable predicting. And here’s a big tip that helps to get to that point: Always dislike something, always regret something from your past. Then work on it. Theorize about it—what can you try in the future?

I hope that helps Colin! Good luck to you.

Filed in: /31/ | /46/

Intuition Cues for Advanced Journaling

Friday June 11, 2021

Here are some advanced journaling cues that I am experimenting with. So far these have been really helpful.

I have a script that pulls a random one of these into my journal while I’m journaling.

Please note that some of these reference concepts with which you may not be familiar, e.g. permission (a Human Design concept), archetypes, the opposite self, or “summoning someone” which is really just an imagination exercise. That’s part of the reason why I’m labeling this as advanced; also, not everybody is ready to incorporate this type/depth of subjective intuition into their journaling process yet.

The Cues

  • What do you feel permission to do right now?
  • What would your horoscope say about a day that’s gone like this day has?
  • What would the first fictional archetype that comes to mind do right now?
  • Where does your mind’s eye take you and what do you see & do there?
  • What words does this moment bring to mind?
  • Why does the universe need or want you to feel this way right now?
  • What would your opposite self be doing at this moment?
  • Describe a vehicle metaphor for your current energy levels. Dump truck, jet, etc. in depth.
  • What whispered words can you hear on the metaphorical wind at this moment?
  • A future-you comes by to comfort you in this moment. What do they say?
  • End-of-day you comes by and says the day turned out to be incredible, because you…
  • What fictional schedule would be both realistic and interesting right now?
  • Who appears when you summon someone to help you with your day?

Filed in: /88/ | /35/ | /50/

Letter of Inquiry to UAP Theory Team

Friday June 11, 2021

To: UAP Website Contact Form

Subject: Why is advanced engineering & civilization development necessary in the UAP behavior?

(Maybe I should have written “necessarily implied by,” instead of “necessary in the”…oh well)

Message Body

Hello,

I really appreciate the work you’ve done to relate the UAP theory on your website. I am trying to understand it, and the examples and references, including the Youtube video showing a new depiction of a space-time grid, have been helpful so far.

I do have a question about this—reading about reactors and civilizations made me wonder about the fundamental requirements of such a theory, leading up to what we see as UAP behavior.

Is it not possible, maybe even probable, that the described UAP properties could result from naturally emergent behavior in a universe governed by these complex laws?

Is it really required that what we’d term as logic, reasoning, and even engineering power emerge simultaneously along with these movement characteristics, in the same creature or phenomenon?

To me the elimination of this higher-brain dependency would explain the meandering, mildly-curious, semi-random encounter characteristics of the various UAP sightings.

It would also model the broader aspects of the current UAP-human contact situation in which, rather than visiting mankind and explaining how the universe works, or even how to design better aircraft, the UAPs simply move and interact as if governed mainly by a situational instinct.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, sorry it’s such a long message.

Kind regards,

Marc Carson
www.friendlyskies.net

That’s my message, sent today. What do you guys think? It’s a bit of a logical question about dependencies, in my mind. “Could these not just be animals” is one way to put it, but I wanted to include a bit more of my thinking, context, and of course compliment the creators on their website.

Fun stuff to think about!

Filed in: /84/ | /59/

Interests Update, 2020-06 Edition

Wednesday June 2, 2021

Here’s what’s on my mind lately:

Nootropics

I continue experimenting with these. Nothing dark-web level, or anything like that.

But I did reach the level of having at least one friend who is alarmed about at least one of the nootropics I am trying. DING! Feels special, this level. But let’s all be careful, we don’t want to be TOO powerful.

(Reminds me of that guy who was like, “are you trying to be some kind of superhuman?” I mean…aren’t we all? Isn’t that the point of the whole superhuman concept? Don’t give up on your heroic life)

Do I mention these new ones by name here? I’ll think about it. I think that part of my blog readership would really like that.

The other part would automatically do a search for “[nootropic name here] dangerous”, or “[nootropic name here] pseudoscience”…you know the drill if you’ve been an irate INTJ before.

Hiking

I have started officially playing around with hot-weather hiking, since that’s basically what I have to work with right now, weather-wise.

(This makes thermogenic nootropics a bit more of a complex question btw)

Things I’ve learned so far:

  • Beard-misting is a really effective self-care routine for me. :-) Man, I could do that all day. Feels great to have a misty beard while hiking in hot weather. Just thinking about it makes my eyes all beardy.
  • Solo long-range hiking: TONS more people do this nowadays than I realized! Wow. What a great world we live in. I mean, maybe they’re all packing heat or something, but wow, I see tons of long-distance runners and hikers out there these days.
  • Ham radio while hiking: Helpful. I always check in on a nearby repeater at various points on my hike. Sometimes it’s just a quick call, but sometimes somebody comes back and wants to chat, so we chat.
  • Snakes: This seems to be my snake year. No rattlesnakes so far, just a bunch of crazy-long gopher snakes. But man, those things can grow up to NINE FEET LONG?! What is that.
    • They are always laying across the trail, playing speed bump or something.
  • Hiking Poles: Amazing. AMAZING.

Can I tell you how great hiking poles are? No, I can’t. Hiking poles are just incredible. I use them for:

  • Defense against spiderwebs, tree branches, and occasional non-rain clouds that make me angry. Rain! Raiiinnn!
  • Clanging on random things to warn other random things that something really random is in the area
  • Looking like I’m goin somewhere important while walking through neighborhoods on the way to the trail

Supportive Software Undergarments

I’ve been writing more and more little support scripts that help me:

  • One that spits out the latest frameworks I’m working on
  • One that spits out some random frameworks I’ve worked on before, so I can update them or check them out
  • One that spits out some cues for emotional processing

These all output text into my text editor, which is still my happy place.

Capturing Archetype-butterflies

I have a lot of little moments like, “OK, I blogged a bunch today. What’s THAT about.” Or, “that’s my FIFTH Roy Scheider film this month. What’s THAT about.” Or, “what’s all this ham radio stuff about, here I am shopping for ham radios again.”

Thankfully I have a growing reference document for all of these.

Thing is, the answers are never super simple. Ham radio depends on the type of radio! Portable? OK—I’ve learned to see that as a cue to get outside and make more plans for travel and fitness. And plan your whole life while you’re at it. (Radio and planning / anticipating are symbolic pals)

I find that it really helps to keep evolving the meanings, developing them over time. Soon there’s a solid “core idea,” like shopping is “about” directing powerful energy at important concepts. But around those ideas there’s a loose, fractal world of various fascinating ins and outs.

‘sall for now, later folks!

Filed in: /84/

Can I get you to give up on MBTI?

Wednesday June 2, 2021

Reader Doug asks,

Can I get you to give up on MBTI? I think it’s unnecessary and I don’t really find it helpful. But I like a lot of your other content.

I think Doug knew the answer to this one going in! He was pretty reticent in his message, but I like to be open about the topic.

Things Doug didn’t seem to be aware of:

  • I’m not using formal-MBTI here. It’s “four-letter Jungian type.”
    • Geez Doug! Kidding.
    • But seriously, this little fact impacts a LOT of comments people have made about type.
  • MBTI as a term really carries no authority to me, and it is not by itself a topic of particular interest. I have friends who are MBTI-certified. I may do the same some day, or I may not…
    • I get that you are talking about four-letter type in general. Still, using “MBTI”…nah Doug.
  • Doug’s level of experience with MBTI is not really up to par for such a request. Come on, Doug.

Doug also mentioned that he has not read up on the cognitive functions which is also really, really too bad.

You can hang a LOT of hats on the general CF model and the various sub-models that exist all over the web and in professional practice as well. A LOT OF HATS, people.

So, no, I won’t give up on four-letter type, at least not for now. People who can see it with me are special, they want to be here, they like it.

I do understand, however, that some adjustments could be made to the blog to make it appear less “yikes” for people who harbor more black & white viewpoints about personality type. I might make some of those changes. (Fi tells me first that those people can go f*** themselves, but Fi also follows up and tells me to be gentle with them because they are still learning, and gentle-with-learners is one of my values. Goddamn complex Fi.)

No offense, Doug. (I know Doug a little better than some)

Filed in: /54/ | /29/

The INTJ as part of a Triggering Loop

Wednesday June 2, 2021

In the endless reorganization and re-conceptualization of various concepts within Jungian type, there are some fascinating topics that I keep returning to.

Ugh…triggered again

Below you’ll find one of the group-loops that I find pretty consistent. In this group-loop, a person is interacting with another and arrives at an uncomfortable, and typically less-than-fully-conscious, conclusion:

“Oh, so you want to consistently violate everything that I think would be amazing and hopeful in life? You basically deserve what’s coming next, and I’m going to give it to you.”

Few would consciously choose to take this attitude. My hope is that by making this phenomenon more conscious to us all, we can gain more control over our outcomes.

The pain is real

Unfortunately I’ve seen this group-loop cause a LOT of interpersonal problems. This is one of the toughest aspects of learning about the human personality—discovering new viewpoints on automatic triggers for pain and suffering. You see it printed on the page, or you theorize about it…but then you see it in real life, and you start to wonder what you got yourself into.

It’s hard to watch this kind of behavior happen around you, especially when you aren’t 100% sure what we can all do about it.

Which is probably why this post is equal parts processing and presenting. Maybe.

This trigger-loop seems to come from the sudden exposure of an individual to a surprisingly brazen (to them) letdown of their big-picture ideals.

You start with an ideal—we all have them—usually less spoken and more closely treasured within, and before you realize what is happening, one of the biggest outcomes you work toward in life is violated right before your eyes!

And the person doing this seems oddly satisfied with the job they’ve done!

The INFP-INTJ-ISTP-ISFJ Group Loop

Here’s how the loop works. I’m starting with INFP to quickly get at the INTJ dynamic here, but you could start with any type in the loop.

[Note: The type-ordering below is very similar to one of the rings of benefit in Socionics. However I am letting this grow as its own thing for now. I am not pinning it to any cognitive functions or function-slots until the time when that makes its own sense.]

  1. INFP: I am responsible to my own feelings in life. I will validate others’ feelings mainly if I truly feel I can relate, but I may go silent otherwise, if I don’t feel like I have anything to say… IDEAL: People ought to allow others personal freedom to follow their dreams in life, and accept others for what they are. This will help end pain and suffering. (Triggered by INTJ’s violation of this ideal)
  2. INTJ: Huh? I will tell people very directly why and how they need to change in order to improve themselves and their circumstances, and… IDEAL: People ought to be good, and conform to a basic set of high-quality morals that will bring about greater outcomes for us all. Be perfectly honest; don’t lie, cheat, or take what isn’t yours. This will help end pain and suffering. (Triggered by ISTP’s violation of this ideal)
  3. ISTP: Huh? Well I say finders keepers! I am good at puzzling out creative ways to bend a code or structure. Also, I don’t think it’s a good idea to be directly honest if it will hurt someone’s feelings, and… IDEAL: People should give each other the space they need to be free to do whatever they want. This will help end pain and suffering. (Triggered by ISFJ’s violation of this ideal)
  4. ISFJ: Huh? What a person ought to do, and the way they should do it, is already provided. It’s consistent, structured, and important to remember, and… IDEAL: People should empathize with others and support & validate others’ feelings. This will help end pain and suffering.
  5. (Back to INFP again, where the ISFJ ideal is seemingly violated)

In more depth:

INFP

When the INFP sees or feels an INTJ criticizing others and telling them what they should do to “fix” themselves or give up on silly dreams, a core INFP ideal is violated.

Shocked by the pride or high sense of self-regard with which this is done, and in a moment of regrettable hypocrisy, the INFP may find themselves automatically acting toward the INTJ in hurtful ways that even more deeply violate their own core ideals and preferred ways of interacting.

INTJ

When an INTJ sees or feels an ISTP take something that isn’t theirs, or act creatively within a rule system or moral code in a way that could be seen to undermine the purpose of the code for personal benefit, or give lip service instead of true feelings, a core INTJ ideal is violated.

Shocked by the pride or high sense of self-regard with which this is done, and in a moment of regrettable hypocrisy, the INTJ may find themselves automatically acting toward the ISTP in hurtful ways that even more deeply violate their own core ideals and preferred ways of interacting.

ISTP

When an ISTP sees or feels an ISFJ straightening someone out and explaining the “correct ways” of consistency and structure, a core ideal is violated.

Shocked by the pride or high sense of self-regard with which this is done, and in a moment of regrettable hypocrisy, the ISTP may find themselves automatically acting toward the ISFJ in hurtful ways that even more deeply violate their own core ideals and preferred ways of interacting.

ISFJ

When an ISFJ sees or feels an INFP failing to give another person validation and emotional support, possibly due to a greater amount of focus on the INFP’s own feelings, a core ideal is violated.

Shocked by the pride or high sense of self-regard with which this is done, and in a moment of regrettable hypocrisy, the ISFJ may find themselves automatically acting toward the INFP in hurtful ways that even more deeply violate their own core ideals and preferred ways of interacting.

Summary & Ideas

Here are some ideas for dealing with the loop:

  • Make your ideals conscious to both partners. Talk about them.
    • One of the worst parts of this loop is that it puts the partners on uncomfortable footing very fast.
    • For this reason, try to be even-paced, thoughtful, but persistent and try to avoid an overreaction.
    • DO NOT stay silent, no matter what your position (idealist or ideal-breaker) because it may lead to an even worse explosion.
  • Don’t protect your ideals too much, but do work on them. Internal ideals can be dangerous to a relationship if protected too much.
    • If an ideal is really good, it can withstand some scrutiny and questioning, which will in turn help it grow and become more effective.
  • If you are exploded upon by someone who thinks you validated their ideal, use YOUR ideal to express your viewpoint. For example, the INTJ facing a highly annoyed INFP might (humbly) say, “look, I really believe in clear and honest feedback. If you think it’s hurting people, maybe there’s a way I can work on that. But I really think I had some effective feedback and didn’t want this person to be hurt by their own blind spot.”
  • Give yourself space and time to process your reactions, emotions and ideals. Plan on ways to take gentle, gradual externally-facing actions before you compromise your own boundaries and act out in ways you will regret.
  • Look for, and use, examples when discussing your emotions with others, if possible.
  • When you can, embrace and accept your weakness, or even the “dumb and naive” parts of your ideals.
  • ALL of the functions can offer helpful tools. For example, you might keep a log of your progress (Te) with a partner with whom conflicts like this have come up.
  • We are not limited to a personality-by-personality or function-by-function approach to life. New and helpful perspectives and tools can be developed as needed.

Filed in: /3/ | /5/ | /63/ | /1/

Six Years of the INTJ Blog! Not Done Yet, But Yeah, Six Years, Wow

Wednesday May 5, 2021

I have a note in my calendar that yesterday was the six-year anniversary of this blog’s auspicious birth.

Man, it has been a ride. Not in a “get your motor runnin’, we’re gonna turn heads” way of course, but certainly in a “wow, such embark upon a deep and satisfying inner journey with lots of unanticipated and fun layovers” sort of way.

(I’m thinking of renaming the blog again, so let me also just put this out there while it’s on my mind: All of the names I have so far are TERRIBLE. Seriously. Just needed to vent for a second.)

Things I never thought would happen:

  • I lost a shit-ton more weight than I thought I would. I gained some of it back, got depressed, then I lost some more, and it turned into this sub-journey, and I learned a lot in the process.
  • I overcame chronic anxiety and depression almost from the moment I started the blog. First it was the chronic part that was overcome, and then it was the “happens at all” part that was overcome. Did I foresee this? Nope.
  • The blog made me a lot better at a lot of stuff that I never anticipated. Writing? Maybe. But I also credit the blog for helping me become more open, naked, and…unafraid.
    • God, what a dumb thing to say. I’m still afraid, THAT’s for damn sure. Terrified even. But more terrified about new, fun, and different stuff, and less terrified about the old stuff that haunted me for years.
  • I found a LOT of new stuff that I really dislike about myself. Whee…!
  • I found a LOT of new stuff that I really dislike about others. Which I’m told is the same thing as disliking myself in some ways, but also, I swear to you, so help me god, it’s not the same, and your stuff is yours to own and overcome, TYVM.
  • I get mad at cognitive functions some days. Like today I was on this long hike in a beautiful redwood forest, meanwhile I’m all, “Fi. The f**cking GASLIGHTING FUNCTION. The function of GETTING NOTHING DONE AT ALL because ALL PERSPECTIVES ON THE MATTER ARE EQUALLY WHATEVER.”
    • And yesterday I was like, “Ni. The function of being wrongheaded for I MUST IDLY FORECAST IN A GRUMPY WAY ABOUT STUFF reasons.” It’s just ridiculous, part of the journey sure but it’s ridiculous.
  • The good stuff cancels that all out. Like, I think my worst fears about blogging were pretty much true, worthy fears, AND also workaround-able. And people are awesome. My readers are friggin’ great. Just a hell of a crowd.
  • I made a lot of new friends! That has been fun.
  • I owe so many people reply emails. OH GOD THE PAIN. From what I’ve been told, I’m supposed to ignore this problem, and just accept that I’m busy and can only do so much. But that’s so f*cking hard man. I get so many amazing, well-thought-out emails from folks like you, and I feel like I can’t do ‘em justice, and that’s frustrating.
  • My entire belief system changed. I realized there was a huge abuse of trust going on, in my previous belief system. As a result, I basically did a 180 on a lot of personal and spiritual beliefs.
    • I don’t even really believe in belief anymore. And I think that’s kind of an advantage.
    • I even started studying astrocartography, evolutionary astrology, and the Satanic Bible as if I may have something new to learn? Hahaha my old self would be so upset at this.
  • I admitted in a public place that I’m dubm
  • dumb
  • You know that introverted thing where you don’t tell people about your stuff because they could use it against you? Or they might get all interested and talk about it and it won’t be cool to you anymore? I think I “violated” that principle like a million times over, in this sacred, holy space of self-offering.
  • Lots of other things I can’t remember.

Eh. Well, that’s a nice long sloppy list for now.

But man, this blog has pushed me into that zone I didn’t know about—the zone where you escape the dragon and its hoard(ing) and you have to leave your hoard of old systems behind and go, “OK I have no idea about this world. Teach me and I’ll take notes.” It’s pushed me into that zone and I’m grateful for it.

Hey, here are some tunes for you guys. Thanks to all of you for bearing with me all these years, and for your kind notes, and tips, and all that good stuff.

Filed in: /31/ | /24/

If you find yourself detaching, some more ideas

Wednesday April 21, 2021

If you find yourself detaching, or being the opposite of an addict:

  • Pushing away things you like
  • Pushing away people you like
  • Pushing the world away, in general

If you find yourself in that position, just a thought…

You know how addicts are trying to fill a perceived “hole” in their life, right? With food, drugs, or whatever else.

It may be helpful to think about the opposite, in the case of detachment.

Maybe you filled a hole. For someone else. Or for the world. And it didn’t work. Maybe your ideals were shattered.

(What is an ideal, to an INTJ? Big-picture ideas, concepts, promising more “good”, usually)

And so what if you give and give, and suddenly find your ideals shattered, again and again?

IMO, you continually detach, is what you do. You detach more and more, because your giving, your work for others isn’t working.

So I think it’s important to do things like:

  • Identify which ideals may have been affected
  • Ask—why?
  • Develop alternative approaches

A sensitive area for INTJs?

If you aren’t willing to admit that you have huge ideals, or huge “big-picture-ideas-for-more-good,”

I think it might be easy…

  • For someone to hurt you with a careless comment
  • To keep things way too secret, for too long
  • To give up on yourself too early

If you can admit you have huge ideals, if you can really walk through just how stratospheric your ideas may seem to be,

I think you may be able to bring those ideas down into the shit.

I mean dirt.

I mean, ground your idea. Anchor it.

Anyway, every idea needs shit. Anchor your idea in shit:

  • Reasonable, human-scale timelines
  • Small tasks that add up to big things
  • Deadlines that bug you and challenge you
  • Annoying meetings, even
  • Annoying feelings you don’t know how to express
  • Failures that you didn’t have on your radar, even your sharp, perceptive, intuitive radar

You will probably need to develop tools for living some portion of your productive life in a field full of shit like that, but you can do it. And dammit, after a while you might even start to appreciate the shit.

Maybe it’s because you found your way of making progress, and you saw your big-picture idea come REALLY close. WOW! A load of good stuff, within reach.

And maybe, partially because, at least, this stuff…

…is no longer detachment.

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