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Sarcastic Responses to Every Flippin' Cognitive Function

Thursday June 11, 2020

Here we go Ni-Te-Fi-Se friends, I haven’t had lunch yet and super-cut is absolutely raging these days.

Let’s use the low-energies!!! SUMMON.

  • Te: What are you, some kind of info-robot? Geez. Talk like a human to me? I don’t speak pure information.
  • Fi: Awww, does u have wittle feewings? That’s so cute, how much attention you give yourself. Now get your work done.
  • Fe: I’m sorry, did you think creepy levels of charisma and social grace would stop me from rolling my eyes at your fancy ways? You communicate like a greeting card.
  • Ti: Oh that’s a very clever new proprietary formulation. Amazing how you think no one’s ever invented this already, in 200 different ways that are also somewhat less of a god trip.
  • Ne: Did you float over here on a cloud of pure ideas? Yes indeed, why don’t people roller-skate on turtles?
  • Si: My goodness, how quaint—your little world has all these little rules, and everybody is like a little cartoon illustration of themselves. Where do they take the really naughty people in this world, when they refuse to tie their shoes?
  • Se: Hey, I see you REALLY love that fresh salad. Oh and now the soup. Oh you like cookies too? Sure, just rub ‘em on your face, that’s totally fine. No, it doesn’t remind me of kindergarten at all! No worries. You want the music LOUDER?
  • Ni: Wow, you saw THIS coming? My god, you must be some kind of prophet. Since you’re so good, I HAVE to see your stock market and sports betting winnings!

(Please don’t use these on your friends. Better to acknowledge that you haven’t had lunch yet)

Filed in: /17/ | /28/ | /23/ | /31/ | /22/ | /12/ | /13/ | /8/

Own your procrastination with Whole Productivity, a new system → Get my free INTJ COVID-19 Guide → Explore your gifts with my INTJ Workbook → Other Publications → ...and the fake word of the hour: "Hoaram." Pretty sure it has to do with board games.

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