How to talk about vacation plans without giving away the exact coordinates to my personal life?
Tuesday November 24, 2020
From my drafts folder, part of a reply to S. Sorry, S, for the delay. S. had asked:
Do you ever hesitate to tell people where you’re going on vacation? Especially if you’re excited about it?
I feel bad, because a coworker seems to be offended that I wouldn’t share details of where I’m going for vacation. Is it unfair to expect her to not ask about personal stuff like this?
S. goes on to say that he was unable to make himself share even the name of the continent. (I think probably on principle, more than anything)
LOL. Sorry, S. I laugh because I can identify, but also, I don’t want to identify. We both know that it sucks to feel like we’re offending people by doing our normal thing. By being…our selves.
Anyway, at least you are, for better or for worse, in good hands here, among us paranoid introverts.
I’m guessing part of the annoyance was due to the special feeling of having your own special vacation plans, but part of it was also the coworker asking, right? Or because you yourself would never ask that.
It’d be interesting to know—did she want to be asked about her own plans? Or is she hoping to spark up a friendship? Or does she want to be the one in the office who can build a bridge out to you, so to speak? (Yikes, maybe it’s best not to dwell on that, the prediction stuff. Too much too early can prevent good relationships from forming…)
Anyway, back to the privacy part. Yeah, I know I can also start to hedge a bit for weird reasons. Reasons that would be hard to explain, that is. But I think the reasons do form up into a sort of firm, internal logic.
Sometimes it’s because I worry about talking about my fun / exciting stuff out loud, for fear of jinxing the whole deal. FOR ONCE IN MY GOT DAM LIFE, the thinking goes, MAYBE I COULD JUST ENJOY SOME ME TIME, AWAY FROM THE ANNOYANCES OF THE WORLD, says the thinking.
And, if nobody knows how epic it will be, nobody can spoil(s) it, (Gollum voice) or something like that.
Not much more to say, no real advice to give. Hopefully there’s some middle ground when you feel pressed to respond.
I wonder if it would make sense to aim for a > 100 km. radius of privacy around your vacation spot? Like, “I’m going to [Small Country],” and, if pressed, “Well, it’s kind of up North in [Small Country]?” and if pressed further, I think it’s fair to say you’ll be exploring the general area, or to feign forgetfulness…
…or to ask why—are they planning a surprise visit?
Joking, of course.
Six Years of the INTJ Blog! Not Done Yet, But Yeah, Six Years, Wow →
If you find yourself detaching, some more ideas →
Developing a Skill or Tool vs. Confinually Refining its Use →
Dr. Terry Wahls and INTJ Life Magic →
By the way: Vlad Tenev, Roaring Kitty (Same Person?) →
Things I Made for You
Own your procrastination with Whole Productivity, a new system → Get my free INTJ COVID-19 Guide → Explore your gifts with my INTJ Workbook → Other Publications → ...and the fake word of the hour: "Niarim." Pretty sure it has to do with uncooperative vassal states.