Why is my GF not doing any research?!!
Thursday April 30, 2020
Here is BY FAR the most amusing relationship complaining I have read recently, from an anonymous INTJ:
Whenever I’m trying to be productive – either by reading, practicing music, etc. She (girlfriend) kinda just … kills time on Instagram with the volume on. I ask her to lower it every time, and I still need to ask her every time.
Also, can you go do something productive? I have a whole library full of books here. Isn’t there something you can research online?
Some people don’t research. They just kill time.
Blows my mind.
I love this guy. BUT that’s also pretty funny. I’m sure he understands why, now that I asked him that one secret clarification question.
But I’m sharing his experience here anyway.
If you catch yourself thinking this way about your girlfriend, boyfriend, mom, dad—whoever it might be—maybe treat it as projection first and foremost. The thing YOU fear about YOURSELF, projected onto those around you. YOU are the researcher. YOU get to do research in your downtime, if you want.
If you’re running away from your lazy-ass shadow—which by the way is a perfectly fine and great thing to have—and all you see is lazy people everywhere, treat it as a subjective perception first. Be super careful about projecting that stuff onto other people. That’s how we end up ruining perfectly great relationships.
(Seriously. WTF do you want your girlfriend to research? lol. Just the thought of ragging on someone for not doing research while they’re relaxing is kind of hilarious, sorry.)
(Parenthetical 2: Anybody else think she was probably begging for him to relax with her for a bit? That’s why the volume does not go down. “Whoops? Was my volume turned up? Sorry” Yeah, the volume will never be turned down when such things are felt. Tortured BF needs to spend time with GF, the GF inside himself and the one outside.)
Six Years of the INTJ Blog! Not Done Yet, But Yeah, Six Years, Wow →
If you find yourself detaching, some more ideas →
Developing a Skill or Tool vs. Confinually Refining its Use →
Dr. Terry Wahls and INTJ Life Magic →
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Things I Made for You
Own your procrastination with Whole Productivity, a new system → Get my free INTJ COVID-19 Guide → Explore your gifts with my INTJ Workbook → Other Publications → ...and the fake word of the hour: "Niarim." Pretty sure it has to do with uncooperative vassal states.